Is My Doll Alright?

Did I say my doll? My doll is no one but my niece who just born an hour before at around 5 pm in the evening. The moment I took her in my hand I had a feeling of heaven. She is so pretty. Her hazel eyes spoke many words. Her tiny fingers bent into a fist were hard to open. She was just 7 pounds. All the members of our family were eager to hold her in their hands. Happiness and excitement surrounded all over. Everyone congratulated one another. Every person was thankful to my elder sister for such a lovely gift of life.

Slowly and gradually my doll started developing. We all suggested many names and finally we named her as Angel. As now she is three months old her bones are getting stronger and she is taking more interest in her surroundings. She is trying to recognize people through their faces. We all are waiting for the day when she would speak her first word that is “Mama” and her magical first step. Now Angel tries to stand up, grabbing anything nearby for support. She is practicing for that first step. But her voice is not so clear yet. She is missing the talk milestones like the words “ba-ba” or “da-da” in her speech development process.

Now Angle is 12 months old. It’s her first birthday. The first year with a baby is often said to be the most exhausting but also incredibly rewarding period. So here we organize the first birthday party of our little angle and it’s even a celebration of our great achievement. I wished her with a grin “Happy birthday to my little princess” and she smiled cutely. Now angle is moving rapidly here and there. But yet her voice has not properly developed. As per researchers and doctors, it is been said that usually babies say a few simple words like “mama” and “dada” by the end of 12 months. So we are waiting for the 12th month to end hoping that we would hear the first magical word from Angel.

Angle is yet lacking voice clarity even after completion of 12 months. This made us and her mom and dad in an extreme worry. Soon we noticed problems with her breathing too. We rushed to the doctor but he told “It was nothing to worry about. This usually happens with every child.”He gave some powder medicines which we were been instructed to give in food to Angle.

Medicines didn't work and Angle was in extreme pain. Angle started lacking oxygen and hence turned blue. Immediately we admitted Angle to the close by hospital named Nulife hospital. Nulife hospital was a well-known hospital for throat problems. The doctor examined her and said “It’s an emergency.” to his compounder and rushed. Looking at this my sister broke with tears.

Specialists at Nulife hospital diagnosed the little Angle with bilateral vocal cord paralysis after examining her throat with a tiny camera. The doctors had no choice but to give Angle a tracheotomy - an opening made in the neck to provide her with an airway. The doctor informed us “Angle is suffering from Two-sided vocal cord paralysis and hence we need to operate her.” They took Angle to the operation theater and operated her. The 90-minute operation was a success but, by a cruel irony, the air she breathes now bypasses her vocal cords meaning that she cannot make a sound. And because now Angle can’t produce sound, we could only rely on her facial expressions to understand if she was crying or whether she needs something.

After the tracheotomy has been installed below her voice box she cannot make any noise which means air no longer passes from her vocal cords when she tries to make a noise. As now she makes no noise she moves her mouth as if she’s going to make a sound but can’t.

We asked the doctor whether she will ever be able to speak or not. The doctor replied, “We need to wait until her voice cords become stronger and start moving. It may take one year, five year or 15 years - we just don’t know. Hopefully, she will grow out of it and will eventually be able to speak, but there’s no guarantee. Her voice box might not recover for her whole life. Children with one-sided vocal cord paralysis can be treated with voice therapy. Two-sided vocal paralysis, however, is more serious and often no guarantee. For now, it’s just a matter of supporting her as best we can.”

All this sound so terrifying and the thought scared me so much that I immediately woke up. I opened my eyes wide my heart was racing. I looked up at the clock it was 4 o’clock in the morning .And I realized all that was just a dream. I even realized that my elder sister is just 7 months pregnant. I even have no idea that she has a girl or a boy child. Very slowly I closed my eyes and went back to sleep.

I woke up at 7 o’clock in the morning. I smiled thinking about the terrifying dream and prayed god that “Not to make this dream come true.” I got ready and immediately called my elder sister as I was worried because of the terrifying dream and asked her “Is my doll alright?”

By: Monika Pasad